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THREE A* GCSE'S IN PUNCHIN', KICKIN', AND SWEARIN'
my name is jake lewsey. i am a former student and future skeleton, temporarily haunting the canals of birmingham, england until i eventually fall over forever.
i have been the solo sleuth at THE SLEEPY BONES DETECTIVE AGENCY since 2012, and i have solved zero crimes. some might call that an outstanding record.
instead, i have been writing things and also painting things. sometimes sticking things down with pritt-stick (other brands are available). i have been making audio-zines, which are like audio-books but stickier and have less pages.
i am a creative shark, and writing garbage is my swimming.
i can be hired for a price, and fired out of a cannon for a much higher price.
have a good night
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